IT’S NOT ME, IT’S YOU
Written by: Jenna Delaney & Khansaa Houlbi
‘It’s not you, it’s me,’ was the original title of this curation of breakup films, because that’s how a Hollywood heartbreak typically unfolds, with clichéd excuses and a bad ending. But then we remembered our worth. Actually, it is you, you’re the problem and well, we’re fabulous. Thank you, next. This is what we hope Jennifer Aniston screamed at Brad Pitt when he blew up their marriage after meeting Angelina Jolie on the set of 2005’s Mr. & Mrs. Smith. While we’ll never know exactly what went down between the exes, we do know that Jen responded by making a movie about breaking up with Vince Vaughn, whom she began to date IRL. Jen and Brad are friends again now, and they weren’t the only ones breaking up and making up, as this list proves. There are the real-life splits informing films which inspire songs that will soundtrack future film break-ups; it’s a vicious cycle we can’t help but watch. So while others dip their toe into Hot Girl Summer 2.0, we are busy breaking up with Summer (and other love interests), fighting over lemons, swinging from chandelliers, and shoop, shoop, shoop be dooping. The summer flings may be ending, but Autumn is just around the corner, and she’s super cute.
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WAR OF THE ROSES (1989)
This dark comedy’s take on divorce is pure H-E double L. Taking the perfect onscreen pairing, Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner, and tearing them to literal pieces, War of the Roses plays out the bitter battle between Barbara and Oliver Rose. Directed by Danny DeVito, who also stars in the film as a mediator/lawyer, the conflict starts with who gets to keep the house? Quickly escalating into a bloodbath, the marriage breakdown sees the warring couple go to outlandish lengths to hurt each other. Insults, possessions, and pets are thrown but the chandelier is the most fatal weapon of all.
WAITING TO EXHALE (1995)
When your man leaves you for another woman, set his car on fire. Well, that’s what Bernadine (Angela Bassett) does in Waiting to Exhale. Strutting away from her husband’s blazing BMW, Bernadine is the picture of a woman scorned but she’s able to find solace in her female friends who are just as unlucky in love. Savannah (Whitney Houston) and Robin (Lela Rochon) are both dating married men, while divorcee Gloria (Loretta Devine) has been focused on raising her son. Together, the Phoenix pals get through every heartache and hot date, all to the tune of Whitney Houston’s Exhale (Shoop, Shoop).
IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE (2000)
A Wong Kar-wai masterpiece, this film is set in 1960s Hong Kong where we meet neighbors Chow Mo-wan (Tony Leung) and Su Li-zhen (Maggie Cheung). The pair begin to bond when they suspect their spouses of having an affair with each other. Starting to fall in love themselves, the neighbors grapple with the moral and societal implications of their growing feelings, which they refuse to act on. Instead, they settle for stolen moments in shadowed alleyways and intense glances on staircases. But they look good while doing it. “She dresses up like that to go out for noodles?”
ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND (2004)
Twenty years after its release, Charlie Kaufman’s film still hurts, most recently inspiring Ariana Grande’s album, Eternal Sunshine. While Ariana’s lyrics depict the downfall of her own marriage, Kaufman’s flick follows exes Joel (Jim Carrey) and Clementine (Kate Winslet). Desperate to move on from their painful split, Joel and Clementine undergo procedures to erase all memories of each other. But as Clementine begins to vanish from Joel’s subconscious, he starts to chase the past that’s fading away. “You can erase them from your mind. Getting them out of your heart is another story.”
THE BREAK-UP (2006)
Almost as juicy as the tabloids surrounding the rom-com, lemons trigger a big blowout fight between Brooke (Jennifer Aniston) and Gary (Vince Vaughn). Brooke wanted 12 lemons for her dinner party centrepiece; Gary picked the low- hanging fruit and came home with only three. Then Gary suggests that Brooke scrap the centrepiece and squeeze the lemons on her dry chicken instead. After dinner, when Gary doesn’t want to want to do the dishes, the lemons bitterly resurface, continuing to cause trouble. Brooke yells, “It’s not about the lemons!” But babe, it kinda is.
(500) DAYS OF SUMMER (2009)
This film begins with the narrator warning viewers that this is not a love story. Kind of like the age rating that’s stamped on movies which contain adult material, except this one features a doomed couple bonding over The Smiths and an epic stride of pride that breaks into a full-on dance routine, complete with cartoon birds. Said strider is Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), a greeting-card writer who falls for the pixie girl of his dreams Summer (Zooey Deschanel). Thanks to the nonlinear narrative, we always know what’s coming, but we’re still sad when the Ikea dates are no more.
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BLUE IS THE WARMEST COLOR (2013)
In Abdellatif Kechiche’s coming- of-age romance, teenager Adèle (Adèle Exarchopoulos) starts to explore her sexuality when she meets and subsequently falls in love with blue-haired art student Emma (Léa Seydoux). Spanning several years, the film captures the euphoric highs and extreme lows of their messy relationship, taking us through to the bitter end. Adèle struggles to let go of Emma, whom she feels an infinite tenderness for but Emma has already moved on. The first heartbreak hits the hardest, especially when it’s in French. Ce n’est pas toi, c’est moi.
PAST LIVES (2023)
“There’s a word in Korean… in-yun. It means providence or fate… It’s an in-yun if two strangers even walk by each other on the street and their clothes accidentally brush. It means there must be something between them in their past lives.” In-yun is at the center of Celine Song’s film which follows playwright Nora’s (Greta Lee) reconnection with her childhood love, Hae Sung (Teo Yoo). As they navigate the complex paths of what could have been, Past Lives invites us into a tender meditation of the enduring ties that bind us. In another life, their in-yun may have worked out differently.
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